“Two things define you: Your patience when you have nothing and your attitude when you have everything” — Iman Ali
A person is perceived to be emotionally intelligent if they have the capability to manage their emotions as well as understand and relate to the emotions of others. They recognize the effect that their words and actions will have on themself and someone else, and tailor their behavior accordingly. They stay calm even in situations where they are under pressure such as meeting deadlines, receiving feedback, and working through setbacks and failures.
The Four Pillars of Emotional Intelligence Are:
- Self Awareness: Focusing and evaluating yourself; being able to acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses and having the self-confidence to deal with them.
- Self Management: being able to follow through on commitments and adapting to change; controlling your words, actions, and behaviors, and managing it in healthy ways
- Social Awareness: Recognising the dynamic of your group; having empathy and being able to pick up emotional cues on yourself and others.
- Relationship Management: Knowing how to develop and sustain meaningful relationships with friends, and family; Communicating with and inspiring others.
Why Is It so Important?
When someone says intelligence, the first thing that a person thinks of is academic or intellectual, but knowing that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell doesn’t necessarily make someone “intelligent”, or more likable.
Having a high IQ will help you get into college, but it won’t help you succeed and make purposeful connections in life. Emotional intelligence will help you accept your feelings, and turn goals into reality. It will also give you the power to make informed decisions about yourself and those you depend on and care about you. It will also help your physical health by reducing stress and lowering the chances of heart attacks, strokes, and fastened aging.
How to Improve It
Like mentioned earlier, self-management, self-awareness, social awareness, and relationship management, are prime skills to be considered emotionally intelligent. If you want to improve and succeed at it, you have to learn that it’s not an overnight process and can take weeks, months, and even years, and patience is the key.
The best ways to improve your emotional intelligence are by:
- Being assertive, but not demanding when communicating
- Acting calm and responding carefully rather than reacting to conflict
- Listening actively to those around you
- Having motivation and an “I can do it” attitude
- Taking criticism and improving on your flaws
- Empathizing and relating with others
- Being approachable and sociable to others
Are You Considered Emotionally Intelligent?
The telltale signs are:
- Thinking about others’ feelings
- Pausing and letting others talk and express themselves
- Striving to control your thoughts and emotions
- Benefiting from and implementing criticism in your everyday life
- Showing authenticity and praising others and yourself
- Giving helpful feedback, even if it’s not always easy
- Apologizing when you make a mistake
Emotional Intelligence is something that slowly develops and you get older and more mature. Some skills you develop automatically, but some you have to work on. They can be learned by anyone at any point in life, regardless of age. However, there is a big difference between hearing and learning about it, than actually implementing it in life. This is one of those abilities that you know you should improve on, but you might not will. Most people are scared to learn and use them because of the change that it will bring. The change will be crazy and hard and over time, you will realize that it was the best decision you ever made.
Companies all around the world are looking for well-rounded people, and if you want to leave a mark, change and learn to adapt, or you will be left behind.
Manushi Patel, Mindsage Intern
